I'll be honest...I was quite judgmental prior to having a child. I remember having these same thoughts and would think, "I do laundry, pay bills, clean my house and grocery shop...all while carrying on a full time job. What's the issue?" It wasn't until after I had Ethan that I discovered how warped my thinking really was....and I only have ONE child. I can't imagine how swamped mothers with more are.
I remember having all these thoughts of, "Wow when I'm a parent I will NEVER..." Here are some of those thoughts I used to have...that have since changed.
1). When children would start crying in a restaurant I remember thinking...."Please get up and take your child outside so you don't ruin my meal." WOW - looking back that was such a selfish thought. Obviously I didn't know what it was like to go out to eat with a child. Now that I'm a mom, I recognize that going out to eat takes quite a bit of effort. You have to come prepared with....well, everything. Food, diapers, wipes, toys, bibs, burp cloths, extra clothes...etc. You never know if your child is going to rest quietly or have a random emotional breakdown. You may have spent the entire day at home with a screaming, teething baby and your sweet hubby wants to take you out to eat as a treat. Then all hell breaks loose. People don't know the background story. They don't know that all you want to do is enjoy just a few more bites of your lukewarm meal before you have to get up, walk out of the restaurant and bounce your baby up and down until he finally (if ever) calms down. Or your baby might not even be crying. He might just be squealing because recently discovered his vocal cords. In which case, I don't WANT to get up and walk out of the restaurant for no reason at all. It's crazy. Now when I hear a child screaming in a restaurant, I give the mom a, "I totally understand" smile/nod. You know that smile....it's the Fellowship of Mom's, smile.
2). When I would be out in public...say a grocery store, I remember seeing children with spit-up, drool and dirt all over their clothes. They looked a wreck. I remember thinking, "Don't you wash your child's clothes." WOW - I was so blinded. It's amazing how quickly your child's clothes can become disgusting. Seriously, I put a cute outfit on Ethan and before I can even get out the door, he has puked everywhere. A puke so large that not even the biggest bib could've prevented it from going everywhere. You have things to do, places to go, appointments to make and the last thing you have time to do is run upstairs and change him into ANOTHER outfit. You wipe it off as best you can and head out the door. By the time you get home (which might only be a few hours), your child looks like a hot mess. Yes, I wash his clothes. I wash them all the time. I'm actually washing a huge load of his laundry while writing this blog entry. Kids are just hard to keep clean.
3). In direct relation to the above article...this was my #1 misconception. I always thought that friends with children were just making excuses. They were making it seem like it was SO difficult. I mean you feed, change and rock your baby...what else is there?! HAHAHAH...warped thinking, huh? The most trivial tasks take FOREVER to complete. Yes, tackling a few loads of laundry for the day is a huge accomplishment. Tackling a few loads of laundry, grocery shopping and making a nice dinner by the time my hubby gets home...well, I feel like I deserve a gold medal. Not really...but kind of :-). It's hard work. Children are unpredictable. Simple tasks aren't so simple when a child is thrown into the mix.
Don't get me wrong. I LOOOOOOVE my baby....I mean, I only post about 10 pictures a day on Facebook. Obsession? Maybe, but I don't care! I love and adore him...and I want more! I want a whole house filled with loud, crazy and spontaneous children. As difficult as it is, I love the chaos. It wears me out but it's awesome. I just realize how much work it really is. It's hard. It's rewarding. It's the best job I could have ever asked for!
I love being a mom.
