The Respectful Wife

The Lord has been speaking to me lately in regards to my husband and more specifically, respecting him.  I have always considered myself a pretty respectful person and when it came to Matt, I thought I was doing a great job.  We have been listening to Mark Driscoll with Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington on the topic of love and respect.  As I started to listen to the message, I found myself becoming uncomfortable.  Why was this?  Am I disrespectful?  Do I respect my husband with my whole self?  I took the time to listen and really inspect my inner-self to determine if I was truly a respectful wife.  I wanted to share a few things that I learned from this powerful message in hopes that it will speak to you as well.  

Even though Matt and I are still in the "honeymoon" stage of marriage, I felt that these things could easily creep into any relationship, especially a Christ-centered one.  Satan is always on the prowl when it comes to a Christ-centered marriage because it exemplifies Christ and his relationship to the church. 

When I initially thought of the word respect, I thought it meant to flatter your husband and not talk back.  Upon listening to this message, I discovered how much deeper it truly is and how important respect is within a marriage.  While every husband wants to feel loved, respect speaks larger volumes to a man as the opinion of his wife is the most important opinion in his life.  Respect means to carefully weigh your words so that you can help your husband become more respectable.  Mark Driscoll's wife gives a fantastic definition of what it means to respect your husband - notice, regard, honor, prefer, defer to, encourage, love and admire.  There are two ways in which a woman can accomplish the goal of helping her husband become more respectable:

1).  Nag and disrespect him

2).  Pray for him and respect him

Nagging almost seems inbred in most women.  Instead of nagging, pushing and demanding of him, why not pray for him?  It seems simple, but anyone can fall into this trap.  This is where I need to really watch myself.  Am I continually praying for my husband?  When I think, "Why did you make that particular decision...I would've made a much better one," would it not be more profitable to stop and pray for the decisions that he makes?

Pastor Driscoll describes 3 ways to truly respect your husband - head, heart and hands.  

Head - How do you think about your husband?  Even though we may never verbalize certain thoughts, our thoughts will ultimately impact our heart.

Heart - How do you feel about your husband? "Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks." (Luke 6:45)  Our feelings about our husband will ultimately come out in our speech. 

Hands - What do you do for your husband?  How do you serve?

This was a brief summary of what I gained from this powerful message. I would encourage you to check out his free podcasts on iTunes.  This particular message was entitled, "The Respectful Wife."  There are many other sermons on the topic of marriage and I hope they will minister to your heart as well.  Let's all make it our daily mission to respect our husbands by praying for them.